Pocatello, ID – Shannon Hafley had a spiritual awakening last Monday when she awoke to the full realization that she is an evolutionary being filled with light, love, and energy. With the realization fully enveloping her system, she headed straight to her neighborhood Starbucks for a grande mocha cappuccino.

“I was filled with a confidence I had never known before,” Hafley told Egobaby. “I felt the divine energy flow through me all the way from my home to the Starbucks about five minutes away, where I also emptied my bowels.”

“She was glowing from head to toe,” said Katie, the Starbucks barista who served her that day, “but it might have been from the dump she took, not sure.”

Unfortunately the feeling did not last for the duration of the day. Once Hafley settled into her routine Starbucks day, life resumed as usual and she found herself embroiled in a heated political debate on Facebook.