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Are You Buddhist Or Just Clinically Depressed?

 

You connect on a deep level that life is suffering. You’ve been feeling like life is empty and has no inherent meaning. You’re realizing the futility of the common life dictated by society. The normal joys don’t bring you any satisfaction anymore.

You can’t stop wondering “How is there enough fish in the world for all the restaurants?” A stack of Buddhist books sits on your night stand by these authors: Thich Nat Than, Pema Chodron, The Dalai Lama, Chogya Trungpa.

“I’m Buddhist,” you’re thinking. Well, maybe. Then again, you might also be clinically depressed. How do you know?

[If you haven’t made it this far in the article, you’re depressed, but then you wouldn’t know since you’re not reading this. You might be hanging in your bathroom with a shower curtain around your neck. Who’s to say. Have you killed yourself if there’s no on there to find you? Were you ever alive to begin with? Questions for another day. For now, let’s assume you’re still reading and you want to know if you need a guru or Prozac]

Here’s a guide to help you figure it out:

Buddhist: I want to lead all beings to enlightenment.

Depressed: Can someone bring me a sandwich from my refrigerator?

——————–

Buddhist: We must tame the mind in order to break free of suffering.

Depressed: What day is it?

——————–

Buddhist: This is a world of suffering and the dharma is the path out of suffering.

Depressed: I thought I had a cat? Oh there it is. Dead as usual.

——————–

Buddhist: Meditation is the method for calming the mind.

Depressed: What if someone takes my eyes when I die and I’m still alive.

——————–

Buddhist: All beings were once our mothers.

Depressed [sees incoming call from mom] : WHAT DOES THIS WOMAN WANT FROM ME?!

——————–

Buddhist: The goal is to develop a compassionate heart.

Depressed: What’s the point of soap.

——————–

Though not foolproof, this is a great starter guide for determining whether you are a Buddhist who would like to find a way out of Samsara or someone who needs to find the right serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Either way, it’s all good news.

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