Huntington Beach, CA – Dan Middleton has been touting the health benefits of drinking your own urine for about a year now, however friends of Middleton don’t fully buy into his reasoning.
Middleton first started drinking his urine after learning that astronauts do the same. Considering himself a bit of an astral traveler he decided to incorporate urine into his morning breakfast. Within a week he was telling all of his friends about it, urging them to do the same. It was a hard sell that never got off the ground.
“I might have tried it if he wasn’t quite so eager about it,” said Dan’s friend, Bill. “Something about his enthusiasm said to me that this wasn’t about health, this was about something else for Dan. I think he may be drinking more than the recommended dose.”
Dan told his friends that the Japanese have been doing it for centuries, which also didn’t convince anyone. “I hear the Japanese also buy used girls’ underpants from vending machines. Am I going to make little girl underpants my breakfast too now, Dan?” said Middleton’s friend, Jake.
A lover of vinegar, it may be that Dan requires extreme acidity in his diet. And it may be that he really just loves the taste of urine and is citing the health benefits as an alibi.
One of Dan’s ex-girlfriends who wished to remain anonymous told Egobaby, “Now that I think about it he did drop his pen a lot into the bowl after I peed and then use his bare hand to retrieve it. At the time I thought he was clumsy, now I’m thinking he might not be so clumsy.”
Stranger than his own proclivity for urine is his devotion to getting others to drink it as well. Friends say you have to be very careful when you want a glass of apple juice at Dan’s place as he recycles used apple juice bottles as his urine containers.
“It’s kinda rude if you ask me,” said Dan’s friend, Kate. “I really like apple juice and this seems like a trick to get me to drink his urine. If I wanted to drink urine I’d drink my own, and by the way, Dan, if you’re reading this, I don’t want to drink my urine, or yours.”
