I remember walking out of the doctor’s office, so shaken by what I was told. Leukemia. A 32-year-old with cancer, in my body. I was devastated. The doctors said it was treatable with radiation, but I thought that may not be the wisest choice.

I mean, come on, radiation? Haven’t these doctors seen Chernobyl? And I also had a sneaking suspicion that the doctors were probably working for the government. I couldn’t trust them. I just wasn’t sure of what to do.

Luckily for me, I found a more natural way. Looking up alternative medicines online, I found a way to rebalance the negative energy in my body and rid me of cancer. And I know what you’re thinking. You think I’m talking about essential oils. I’m only partially talking about essential oils; I’m mainly talking about healing crystals.

This was an all new concept to me, but I was sold. Rocks that will take away your ailments? Step aside, chemotherapy. “I have rocks outside, I’ll gather them up,” I thought. But it wasn’t that easy. They had to be special rocks. Different colors, shapes, and sizes for all different properties.

I was in over my head, but with a little research on Instagram I learned almost everything I needed to know about crystal healing. All the literature on Instagram said it was crucial to work with a certified healing crystals healer.

I was fortunate to find a certified healer on Craigslist. I’m not sure who certifies healers, but her name was Sunset Witch-Hazel and she had a paper saying she could cure people with crystals. It had to be legit.

When I emailed her, she said that healing cancer was no problem. She rids her body of it all the time, hence why she’s never had cancer.

“The biggest thing is to get the right crystals to clear the negative energy out of your body. We are going to use Aventurine and Heliotrope,” she said. They’re the two that can really channel the good energy that will attack the negative energy building up in my lymph nodes, which the doctors say are becoming more and more cancerous by the minute.

When running the crystals over the area, the negative energy will retract, and Sunset keeps telling me that it’s working, but it takes time. That’s where Steve Jobs messed up. If he had used crystals instead of a special diet, he’d probably still be here.

We start the sessions with her chanting what seem to be Buddhist hymns. Then I lay down (gingerly, as my body is extremely weak), surrounded by hibiscus leaves, and she rubs essential oils over my body, all while placing crystals on certain spots on my limbs to try to channel the negative energy out.

I have even started carrying crystals around with me. I believe they are helping cure my cancer, even though “western medicine” says it’s not doing anything and that I have two weeks to live.

My insurance won’t cover the sessions, which I find barbaric. I mean, come on, insurance will cover the doctors pumping my body full of radiation, but I need to pay out of pocket for healing crystals that eventually – probably – I mean, I’m sure of it – cure cancer???

These sessions can cost a lot! I think it’s all a ploy by Big Pharma, but you need to look at long-term, something I don’t have but that I’m looking at anyway.

I am fully convinced that this is the real deal. Granted, I have yet to see any results. But, Sunset keeps saying that I’ll see results soon. It takes a while. Although the doctors keep telling me that my cancer will keep getting worse and worse if I don’t go in for treatment, Sunset assures me that the blood that drips out of my mouth every morning is a sign that the negative energy is leaving my body.

Sunset also said not to quote her on that. She did tell me that, “if for whatever reason the negative energy is too strong, we should try bloodletting. I’m certified in that, too.”

Written by Ryan Curtiss.