San Francisco, CA – John and Samantha Morin were reluctant at first to go to an intimacy coach, but the fate of their sex life depended on it. After hearing good things about coach Kyle Rifkin, they made the appointment that would change their lives – and the nature of their relationship – forever.
“I figured he’d start with asking us to hold hands in candlelight to establish the intimacy my wife and I had lost,” said John Morin, “but he actually just went straight to penetrating us both with his mythical double-headed phallus, with all the lights on.”
“John and I are both intimate and open now,” said Samantha Morin, “but I think I would have been OK with talk therapy too. Well, you know what they say about hindsight: it’s a two-headed penis in yours and your husband’s asshole.”
Rifkin says John’s presumption about intimacy coaches is a common one.
“Most intimacy and sensuality coaches do use candles, oils, and some initial soft touching to re-establish the touch that the couple has lost,” Rifkin told Egobaby, “but I find that what they need is to be penetrated simultaneously and by surprise, without lubrication. It gives them an experience they shared together. It’s sexual, it’s intimate, it’s unique, and it’s bonding. And what else am I going to do with this thing?”