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Man Thinks Of New Ways To Describe Process Of Meditation To Disinterested Friends

Hopkinsville, KY – Terry Maddison has been touting the benefits of meditation to friends for years now, despite their complete lack of interest in the activity. He usually finds a window when they are experiencing some sort of turmoil in their life.

“It’s at that point that I reintroduce the practice of meditation,” Maddison told Egobaby, “and I try to tailor the description of benefits to their personalities. My friend, Joe, is a plumber, a real regular kind of guy so I tell him that meditation is like clearing a clog in the pipes so the shit and piss can flow smoothly.” [Joe hung up on us when we tried to reach him]

“He likes to tell me that it’s like sitting in the middle of traffic and letting all the cars pass by,” said Maddison’s friend, Linda. “I said, ‘Terry, I get it, I just don’t care.'”

“I don’t think she actually does get it,” Maddison told Egobaby, “so I came up with a new way to describe it: it’s like sitting on a stoop and watching all the people go by. You wouldn’t follow each one of them, you’d just-”

[We lost interest in the middle of Maddison’s description ourselves and left the interview]

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