Gilbert, AZ – Liz Griffiths began drinking kombucha about a year ago and has since never stopped talking about the benefits. To friends and acquaintances, it seems as though there is nothing else on her mind but to spread the word of kombucha, even at the risk of alienating those she wishes would do as she says.

Against her better judgment, Ann Haden, a friend of Griffiths, invited her to a small party she was throwing. The party was for a friend of Haden’s whose cancer recently went into submission. Griffiths reportedly beelined straight for the lady with cancer as soon as she arrived at the party.

“First she asked my friend, ‘it was kombucha that cured you, wasn’t it?'” said Haden, “and my friend said she had actually never tried kombucha to which Liz said, ‘bullshit you haven’t.’ Liz wouldn’t leave my friend alone until she promised Liz she would start drinking three bottles of kombucha a day.”

Griffiths believes that much of the socio-economic woes we face as a country are because we lack the symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast that is the hallmark of kombucha tea.

She told this to her cousin, a professor of economics at Harvard, at her family’s last Thanksgiving. Her cousin replied, “Responding to that would be like eating my own shit if I wanted to buy patio furniture.” Other family members in earshot remarked that while their cousin is a brilliant economics professor he’s never been great with analogies.

Griffiths recently launched a Kickstarter campaign, the objective of which is to simply increase the national dialog about kombucha. She’s asking for twenty-five thousand dollars. How that money will be spent is unclear. Currently she’s raised five dollars.