Santa Rosa, CA – Guru Yandananda has been guiding his students towards their innate enlightenment for the last thirty years. One of the most renowned spiritual teachers, he is known for his warm heart, his compassionate guidance, and his insatiable appetite for intercourse.
He is considered to be a direct emanation of a deity, born into our realm to help us realize our own divinity, one of the few enlightened beings on the planet.
His radiant warmth is tangible, his blessings unmistakable. His pithy instructions on how to live a happy life have garnered him students in every country on earth. All of the money he earns for his events goes straight to various charities. He is apparently nourished purely on the bond that occurs when his penis enters a vagina or any other bodily cavity.
Yandananda’s team knows his “pee breaks” during teachings are solely for the sake of pounding one out. It wasn’t long before they started calling him “Guru Poundananda,” which he loves. Once his teachings are over he recommences the pounding into the wee hours of the night, and then begins again before breakfast; and then after lunch; and before dinner.
Knowing this world is an illusion and attachment to any portion leads to suffering, Yandananda lives in a humble single room dwelling in India. Jonathan, a former male assistant of Yandananda’s made the mistake of once shining a black light on Yandananda’s room, only to discover the entire place was covered in semen.
Nevertheless, the moment wasn’t without its blessings. As Jonathan tells it, “In the glowing luminescence of my guru’s semen I saw my past lives and the truth of the universe. It lasted but a moment but it took away my fear. He is a teacher among teachers, and no question about it a huge sex addict.”
