Seattle, WA – Scientists held a symposium recently to discuss the controversial theory that everything happens for a reason. The conference included the foremost experts in Quantum Physics, biologists, geologists, psychologists and many other types of scientists.

It grew quite heated as the debate raged on for over three days. The big bang theory came into question, which many traditional scientists insisted is the origin for our universe and thus the original reason for why things happen.

The quantum theorists, however, argued that the universe has no beginning and no end, thus indicating that nothing happens for a reason and possibly nothing has ever happened, for a reason or not for a reason.

It all became rather abstruse so the scientists tried to boil things down to the utmost simplicity for the sake of a starting point, which only led to further debate.

“If you agree that we are in this auditorium, raise your hand,” moderator & geologist, Steven Streamans, said to the assembly. A smattering of hands went up. “Oh for Christ’s sake, are you serious? So most of you don’t agree that we are in this auditorium?”

“The premise of the question is false!” shouted an anonymous scientist from the back of the room, which was rewarded with a round of clapping.

“Alright then, in a relative sense can we agree that we’re all here?” All hands went up. “OK then. And can we agree that we are here because we want to solve the question of whether everything happens for a reason?”

Again this was met with a divisive response to say the least. “It is impossible to say what my true motive is for being here,” said psychologist Thomas Upton. “On the surface I am here to determine if everything happens for a reason, but my unconscious may have another reason for my being here, which I’ll never know, and may not want to, given what I know already, which is nothing.”

The group will be meeting again next year in Zurich despite the fact that nobody could agree definitively on why.