Westerville, OH – Since the announcement of George Michael’s death, local Buddhist, Jack Gorman, has been annoying his friends with his “we’re all one consciousness” teaching. While Gorman’s friends are normally willing to accept his Buddhist tendencies they would like to have the freedom to feel sadness over the loss of one of their childhood icons.

“I get it, we’re all one,” said Gorman’s friend, Kate, “but shut up already. I can never dance to Freedom the same way again and no amount of universal consciousness is going to change that.”

Gorman and his friends were all hanging out the night they heard the news about Michaels’ death. Before any of Gorman’s friends had a chance to react in their own way Gorman was spouting things such as “Everything in life is impermanent” and “He hasn’t technically died, he’s merely shed the body that housed his consciousness.”

Michaels was a role model for Gorman’s friend, Rob, who told Egobaby, “I looked up to George Michaels when I was a gay teen afraid to come out. I was about to express this when Jack interrupted me to tell everyone that we’re all manifestations of consciousness experiencing itself through itself. That’s not gonna wake me up before I go go.”

“I’m not saying I’m not sad about the death of George Michaels,” Gorman told Egobaby, “I’m just saying there is no death, there is no birth, there’s no beginning or end, it’s all just ignorant, dualistic perception, believing in a false reality, then growing attached to that false reality and the accompanying negative emotions. That’s all I’m saying.”