Wilmington, NC – Dave Jackle was about to go all in and take refuge in Buddhism – accepting the buddha, dharma, and sangha as his way out of suffering – until he was told the starting point is to develop compassion for all beings.

Jackle was under the impression some people were automatically excluded from deserving compassion.

“Like, for instance, my local barista who never smiles or gets any more familiar with me, despite my having gone in there every single day for the last five years. I have to have compassion for her? Come on!” Jackle was overheard arguing with his teacher.

Turns out, before Jackle was ever turned on by Buddhism, he had been keeping a running list of people who didn’t deserve forgiveness under any circumstances; the barista was just one of many printed on a long scroll.

“Do I believe this world is an illusion? Yes. Do I believe meditation can reveal the true nature of our mind to us? You bet. Do I think the dickface who talked loudly on his phone for the hour train ride commute deserves compassion? Are you kidding me. Who am I, the Dalai Lama now?” Jackle told Egobaby via the phone.

Jackle tried to strike a compassion deal with his teacher, asking if he could develop compassion for the majority of beings on the planet, but maybe exclude about twenty truly undeserving “fucking assholes” and a couple of cats and dogs. Jackle’s teacher insisted it would have to be all beings, adding that those who test his patience are his teachers on the path.

“You’re testing my patience,” Jackle told his teacher, “and I think I need to rethink this whole Buddhism thing. I believe in the six realms of samsara, but I can’t go around having compassion for every asshole who refuses to answer my emails.”